Okay, it's a little bit intimidating to follow after Erin's lead, but here goes...
This poem isn't so much an act of piracy (which I fervently believe in), but a response to a This I Believe essay I heard recently. If you want to hear or read the original essay you can find it here. It was very thought-provoking.
So here's my response to his essay:
Vulnerability
A young, confident voice
Declaring, our vulnerability is our strength.
I am stopped. Struck
by the truth in the words.
How does such youth
come by such wisdom?
My first massage
A Japanese retreat, high up into
the dry mountains
A translucent koi reigning over the inner courtyard
Subtle scent of cucumber drifting through the lobby.
In the inner sanctum
The masseuse implores
Relax!
But I can't
I want to snarl.
I cannot relax.
Give way to my vulnerabilities
I have given careful study
To taking my vulnerabilities
Folding them
One by one
Into myself.
Until only the most innocuous
Remain visible.
Like the answer to that dreaded question
What is your greatest weakness?
All that remains visible is a carefully chosen
Virtue.
Disguised as a vulnerability.
He says
We're helpless unto each other.
A beautiful, simple statement.
The kind that echoes with wisdom & truth.
And yet..
It
is
terrifying.
How can we surrender
to our helplessness?
Admit we are lost?
Find strength in our vulnerabilities?
5 comments:
Caroline, wow! First of all, thanks for the link to the This I Believe essay; it was really powerful. Secondly, what a brave and honest piece of writing. I love the image of a koi reigning over the courtyard, but I think my favorite part is this: "I have given careful study / To taking my vulnerabilities / Folding them /One by one / Into myself." What a perfect description of the defenses we construct. I'm so glad you posted!
Powerful, Caroline. I relate quite keenly to what you've written - it's a very accessible piece. And the essay was something else.
Caroline, wonderful. I haven't had a chance to get to the essay yet, but this is the idea, exactly--use the world to inspire your art, cross-pollinate with whatever piece of inspiration comes your way. I have to echo Erin in saying that the image of the transluscent koi stays with me, and I would add the dry mountains, Japan, cucumber--all of these bright particulars draw me in and give me a sense of place and displacement in your poem. Thank you for taking the, er, vulnerable leap. I'm thrilled with the result!
Thank you all so much -- your words of encouragement really help. I was surprised at how exposed (in other words, vulnerable) writing and posting this made me feel! Funny, that.
I'm looking forward to seeing everyone at class tonight!
It is beautiful.
I like how each stanza stands alone.
Does anyone know why I can post on here but it doesn't show me as a member? I am having trouble.
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